One way to love others in relationship problems is to share with them what you have learned in your past experiences. I spent the evening with my girlfriend Rene sharing with a friend of ours who was going through relationship struggles some key insights and lessons learnt … he was feeling really down about himself, that he wasn’t good enough for his girlfriend and was about to totally give up with a discouraged spirit. Rene and I shared with him the following…
1. Give it room to breathe
2. Show her that you still care, but don’t overload her
3. Make it your aim to seek God first
4. Commit to Change what is necessary
5. Communicate with her once your mind is clear
5. Make up with a hug & kiss :)
Of course this advice was catered for a specific relationship, it doesn’t work for each relationship since every relationship is different. But the above steps have also worked for us in the past and guess what?… they made up and things are all good for them again!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Relationship Advice
God's timing is ALWAYS good. I got this from http://jaesonma.com. The guy totally seems to describe me and how I view myself in front of "her". Wow...
Thursday, September 2, 2010
40.
Finally back after 40 days.
Wow...
Got into an accident but yah... let's say God redeemed it=)
I can't wait for what God has in store in the future! I'll update more on what the Lord has taught me during this time. Gonna re-activate Facebook later on too.
Yezzir..!
**UPDATE**
So I'm on FB chat right now and getting bombarded with all these IMs. When I tell them I lost a bunch of weight they all somehow ask "so is it for someone?" and there's my chance to share HER. hehehe... man... I miss HER already.
Septemeber 18th can't come soon enough!!
<3
Wow...
Got into an accident but yah... let's say God redeemed it=)
I can't wait for what God has in store in the future! I'll update more on what the Lord has taught me during this time. Gonna re-activate Facebook later on too.
Yezzir..!
**UPDATE**
So I'm on FB chat right now and getting bombarded with all these IMs. When I tell them I lost a bunch of weight they all somehow ask "so is it for someone?" and there's my chance to share HER. hehehe... man... I miss HER already.
Septemeber 18th can't come soon enough!!
<3
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I'm retreating in order to advance in this life
In my time with the Lord earlier today, I heard Him say during this upcoming 40 day fast at LoveHOP, He wants me to deactivate my Facebook and stop blogging from July 24th-September 2.
Interestingly enough July 24th is the the Jewish Holiday called "Shabbat Nachamu" which means "Shabbat of Consolation" or "Rest of Consolation/Comfort" which is based off of Isaiah 40:1 which says:
"Comfort, comfort my people, says your God."
This past month my heart has been very restless and many nights I had a hard time of getting myself to sleep because of the worry and doubt that creep in my mind. My heart needs to be at rest. Truthfully, my soul has been getting very weary and I haven't been able to concentrate at work.
It's no coincidence that I have blogged about "Surrender" and "Ending Strife". And the pathway to those two is to simply run to God and rest in Him. It's one thing to blog about it but it's another thing to actually DO it. I want to be a DOER of the Word and not a hearer only.
This fast which was planned weeks ago couldn't have come at a better time. I'm in the middle of moving to a new and bigger place and also a brand new wonderful relationship with HER is about to blossom. But moving from the old and into the new requires purification. And so this is where the fire of God comes. If this is what it takes for me to have the encounter with God I've been wanting for such a long time, then so be it. I don't lose anything. In fact I know I can only gain so much more. It's a win-win situation but I have to "lose" or "offer up" my life as a living sacrifice first.
I desire to go deeper into the heart of God and see His love in a whole new way. I want to run so hard after Him during this season.
"My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God." -Psalm 84:2
So again, for these next 40 days, no Facebook and no blogging. If you ABSOLUTELY need to contact me, email me at kserrano35@gmail.com. If you need to call me, email me and I will give you my number.
------------------
And to YOU...
Here's a Scripture for YOU during this season we're both in found in Psalm 34:4-10:
"I sought the LORD, and He answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear Him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear Him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing."
"When water gets rough will YOU still swim home with me?"
I miss YOU and will miss YOU.
Soon and very soon, WE will see each other again. Wait for me as I wait for YOU as we wait for Him.
<3
Katzy
Interestingly enough July 24th is the the Jewish Holiday called "Shabbat Nachamu" which means "Shabbat of Consolation" or "Rest of Consolation/Comfort" which is based off of Isaiah 40:1 which says:
"Comfort, comfort my people, says your God."
This past month my heart has been very restless and many nights I had a hard time of getting myself to sleep because of the worry and doubt that creep in my mind. My heart needs to be at rest. Truthfully, my soul has been getting very weary and I haven't been able to concentrate at work.
It's no coincidence that I have blogged about "Surrender" and "Ending Strife". And the pathway to those two is to simply run to God and rest in Him. It's one thing to blog about it but it's another thing to actually DO it. I want to be a DOER of the Word and not a hearer only.
This fast which was planned weeks ago couldn't have come at a better time. I'm in the middle of moving to a new and bigger place and also a brand new wonderful relationship with HER is about to blossom. But moving from the old and into the new requires purification. And so this is where the fire of God comes. If this is what it takes for me to have the encounter with God I've been wanting for such a long time, then so be it. I don't lose anything. In fact I know I can only gain so much more. It's a win-win situation but I have to "lose" or "offer up" my life as a living sacrifice first.
I desire to go deeper into the heart of God and see His love in a whole new way. I want to run so hard after Him during this season.
"My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God." -Psalm 84:2
So again, for these next 40 days, no Facebook and no blogging. If you ABSOLUTELY need to contact me, email me at kserrano35@gmail.com. If you need to call me, email me and I will give you my number.
------------------
And to YOU...
Here's a Scripture for YOU during this season we're both in found in Psalm 34:4-10:
"I sought the LORD, and He answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear Him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear Him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing."
So I ask that YOU continually keep me in prayer whatever God has laid on YOUR heart. Don't take this a a bad thing. This wil be a good thing for both of US. This will not drive US apart but as we grow closer to the Lord through the fire, we will grow closer to each other.
"When water gets rough will YOU still swim home with me?"
I miss YOU and will miss YOU.
Soon and very soon, WE will see each other again. Wait for me as I wait for YOU as we wait for Him.
<3
Katzy
Ending Strife.
"In the process of sanctification, the Spirit of God will strip me down until there is nothing left but myself, and that is the place of death. Am I willing to be myself and nothing more? Am I willing to have no friends, no father, no brother,, and no self-interest-simply to be ready for death?
Am I willing to simply reduce myself down to simply "me"? Am I determined to strip myself of all that my friends think of me, and all that I think of myself? Am I willing and determined to hand over my simple naked self to God? Once I am, He will immediately sanctify me completely, and my life will be free from being determined and persistent toward anything EXCEPT GOD." -Oswald Chambers (taken from today's devotional in "My Utmost For His Highest"
Ouch.
I was seriously thinking about this same topic last night before I went to bed and God gave me this:
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." -Romans 12:1-2
To be a living sacrifice means I have to die daily offering up myself to God. God may reveal to us what His will in the bigger scheme of things but we must take it day by day by daily putting our own agendas to death in order that we can align ourselves to the destiny He has spoken and revealed to us.
I think of the story of Noah. God told him that rain fall from the sky even though up until that point in natural history it NEVER rained. Then God told him to build a really massive boat so two of every species of animal can be inside and also his family. God revealed to Noah his destiny. But it was up to Noah to die to what he thought was right. The logical thing to do was question God because in the natural rain didn't exist yet and how the heck was he going to call up every single animal species from all over the world into a boat?? But God's promises stood and Noah's destiny and God's promise to him eventually came to pass.
God already spoke destiny in this particular situation in my life. He has confirmed everything and gave me peace over this. But am I willing to obey God and to quit worrying and stressing? I need a revelation of His goodness and love. It's a struggle but I need an encounter with Him. I believe when I encounter Him my heart will be changed. And when my heart is changed I can love Him fully and therefore obey Him based out of my love and affection for Him. But I need to put myself and my own "genius" ideas to the grave first and commit all my ways to Him.
"The plans of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
but the LORD weighs the spirit.
Commit your work to the LORD,
and your plans will be established." -Proverbs 16:1-3
Again, it goes back to giving to/offering up everything to God trusting Him that His goodness and His promises will come to pass apart from us striving. He wants us to be at rest and not to strive. Another version of Psalm 46:10 is "CEASE STRIVING and know that I am God".
--------------
Am I willing to simply reduce myself down to simply "me"? Am I determined to strip myself of all that my friends think of me, and all that I think of myself? Am I willing and determined to hand over my simple naked self to God? Once I am, He will immediately sanctify me completely, and my life will be free from being determined and persistent toward anything EXCEPT GOD." -Oswald Chambers (taken from today's devotional in "My Utmost For His Highest"
Ouch.
I was seriously thinking about this same topic last night before I went to bed and God gave me this:
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." -Romans 12:1-2
To be a living sacrifice means I have to die daily offering up myself to God. God may reveal to us what His will in the bigger scheme of things but we must take it day by day by daily putting our own agendas to death in order that we can align ourselves to the destiny He has spoken and revealed to us.
I think of the story of Noah. God told him that rain fall from the sky even though up until that point in natural history it NEVER rained. Then God told him to build a really massive boat so two of every species of animal can be inside and also his family. God revealed to Noah his destiny. But it was up to Noah to die to what he thought was right. The logical thing to do was question God because in the natural rain didn't exist yet and how the heck was he going to call up every single animal species from all over the world into a boat?? But God's promises stood and Noah's destiny and God's promise to him eventually came to pass.
God already spoke destiny in this particular situation in my life. He has confirmed everything and gave me peace over this. But am I willing to obey God and to quit worrying and stressing? I need a revelation of His goodness and love. It's a struggle but I need an encounter with Him. I believe when I encounter Him my heart will be changed. And when my heart is changed I can love Him fully and therefore obey Him based out of my love and affection for Him. But I need to put myself and my own "genius" ideas to the grave first and commit all my ways to Him.
"The plans of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
but the LORD weighs the spirit.
Commit your work to the LORD,
and your plans will be established." -Proverbs 16:1-3
Again, it goes back to giving to/offering up everything to God trusting Him that His goodness and His promises will come to pass apart from us striving. He wants us to be at rest and not to strive. Another version of Psalm 46:10 is "CEASE STRIVING and know that I am God".
--------------
Lord, I come to You and You promised rest for my weary soul. You promised a garment of praise instead of heaviness. So I just come to You, knowing that You are my rest and my rock. I commit my ways to You for Your ways and thoughts are better and higher than my own. I declare Your goodness and Your faithfulness. May I rest in what You said and not fret or worry. Come and encounter me with Your love and goodness. Abba, I need You...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
or maybe... **UPDATED...again**
We can read them together, laugh at how ridiculous they were and burn babyyy burn!!
How's that for an idea?
Btw, I saw your pics on your other blog. YOU are still frikkin gorgeous without make-up. Seriously!!
And yes, I do know YOU'RE the one even before marriage. God allows us to know certain things beforehand for a reason only known to Him=)
<3
How's that for an idea?
Btw, I saw your pics on your other blog. YOU are still frikkin gorgeous without make-up. Seriously!!
And yes, I do know YOU'RE the one even before marriage. God allows us to know certain things beforehand for a reason only known to Him=)
<3
Surrender.
In the Christian life, surrender ISN'T about giving up but giving TO, in this walk with the Lord, giving it TO God.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. -Hebrews 11:1
This is what faith consists of: ASSURANCE and CONVICTION. Of what? Things we hoped for. God's promises is what fuels the fire of hope. Things not seen. It wouldn't be called faith if we didn't see it yet. That's why when we see Jesus, out of the three virtues of faith, hope, and love- love remains. So the question is, in our lives, do we have assurance and conviction of what God has promised in His Word- spoken and written? Here's an example of faith illustrated in the same chapter:
By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, "Through Isaac shall your offspring be named." He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back. -Hebrews 11:17-19
Abraham was promised a son that God promised many nations will be birthed from. Abraham waited decades upon decades with no results. And finally the promised was born- literally. Abraham named him Isaac. Abraham dearly loved him. But God told him to offer up or give it TO Him. Abraham was never called to give up on the promise but give the promise to God. It was a test of Abraham's loyalty and faith. It was to see if Abraham was assured of the promises God spoke to him and to see if he was convinced that God was still good even though it didn't make sense at that time.
Abraham was tested twice.
First- the test of patience in awaiting the promise. As far as I know, Abraham never wavered in the promise of God for a son to be given to him. He got a little impatient and took matters into his own hands and that resulted in disaster. But God still had grace on him and the promise of the one to come still was there.
Second- the test of giving the promise to the One who made the promise. Abraham's promised son was finally born. And Abraham loved him dearly. In fact the Bible described Abrham's son, Isaac as "the son whom Abraaham dearly loved." Don't we love what God promised?? But God tested Abraham yet again. This time He called Abraham to offer up/give to Him to be sacrificed. I don't know what was going on in Abraham's mind but Abraham was quick to obey because he went the very next morning. But Abraham believed that God was good and even if Isaac was going to be killed, God will give him back anyways. Abraham believed Isaac was going to be raised from the dead! So Abraham offered up his son as a sacrifice and as he was raising the knife to sacrifice Isaac, an angel told him to stop seeing that Abraham's faith was evident. Isaac NEVER died. No resurrection was necessary. Abraham was a happy man and I'm pretty sure Isaac was too! LOL
Now that's faith right there! And faith is what pleases God!!
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Hebrews 11:6
In my own life, I've been tested and struggled with patience regarding relationships with girls. Even before I became a Christian, I always felt that God has "the one" for me out there. But due to my impatience and lack of discernment in hearing God's voice, I took matters into my own hands, like Abraham. And the results were not very good. I'm not going to get into details but it did end up with broken hearts both ways, compromises, and a world of hurt and pain. But God still had so much grace on me. He kept promising of "the one" to come for me.
Now, the promise has been birthed. As you can see from my previous posts, God has given me "the one". God confirmed it many times and I'm so much at peace and in .... with HER. But I'm at the second testing, just like Abraham. Am I willing to offer up/give to God "this"? Am I going to see Him as good and knowing He will still give back what He promised to give me in the first place?
------------------------
To YOU:
I was just thinking about this topic earlier today, even before you blogged it. I was going to blog it tomorrow but since the topic was brought up, I decided to go at it.
YOU said in your blog "How close is my heart to the Lord, to say I am willing to give up EVERYTHING... i mean even "this" for my Lord?" Maybe you mean giving TO, not giving up. God has called us never to give up what He promised. He decreed it and we must not waver on what He declared and promised. But what we are called to do is give "this" TO Him. Everything. And we have to BELIEVE that when we give it TO Him, He will give "this" back to us. Pure. Refined. Full of <3. Pleasing to the Lord.
Your post kind of scared me at first because I thought YOU were going to do what I feared the most- giving up but not giving TO. But further reading YOUR post, I'm glad YOU clarified it.
I'm still struggling with assurance and conviction to be honest. My faith in God is really being tested everyday. As I type it's a struggle because I desperately want to take it into my own hands. I don't have it nailed down quite yet. I only blog this because in reality, I preach to myself first. But deep in my heart, I'm believe in "this" and for "this".
I'm not giving up but everyday will give TO God.
Taking it day by day and pacing myself...
Miss na miss kita.
SOON and very SOON, I'll see YOU.
<3
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. -Hebrews 11:1
This is what faith consists of: ASSURANCE and CONVICTION. Of what? Things we hoped for. God's promises is what fuels the fire of hope. Things not seen. It wouldn't be called faith if we didn't see it yet. That's why when we see Jesus, out of the three virtues of faith, hope, and love- love remains. So the question is, in our lives, do we have assurance and conviction of what God has promised in His Word- spoken and written? Here's an example of faith illustrated in the same chapter:
By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, "Through Isaac shall your offspring be named." He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back. -Hebrews 11:17-19
Abraham was promised a son that God promised many nations will be birthed from. Abraham waited decades upon decades with no results. And finally the promised was born- literally. Abraham named him Isaac. Abraham dearly loved him. But God told him to offer up or give it TO Him. Abraham was never called to give up on the promise but give the promise to God. It was a test of Abraham's loyalty and faith. It was to see if Abraham was assured of the promises God spoke to him and to see if he was convinced that God was still good even though it didn't make sense at that time.
Abraham was tested twice.
First- the test of patience in awaiting the promise. As far as I know, Abraham never wavered in the promise of God for a son to be given to him. He got a little impatient and took matters into his own hands and that resulted in disaster. But God still had grace on him and the promise of the one to come still was there.
Second- the test of giving the promise to the One who made the promise. Abraham's promised son was finally born. And Abraham loved him dearly. In fact the Bible described Abrham's son, Isaac as "the son whom Abraaham dearly loved." Don't we love what God promised?? But God tested Abraham yet again. This time He called Abraham to offer up/give to Him to be sacrificed. I don't know what was going on in Abraham's mind but Abraham was quick to obey because he went the very next morning. But Abraham believed that God was good and even if Isaac was going to be killed, God will give him back anyways. Abraham believed Isaac was going to be raised from the dead! So Abraham offered up his son as a sacrifice and as he was raising the knife to sacrifice Isaac, an angel told him to stop seeing that Abraham's faith was evident. Isaac NEVER died. No resurrection was necessary. Abraham was a happy man and I'm pretty sure Isaac was too! LOL
Now that's faith right there! And faith is what pleases God!!
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Hebrews 11:6
In my own life, I've been tested and struggled with patience regarding relationships with girls. Even before I became a Christian, I always felt that God has "the one" for me out there. But due to my impatience and lack of discernment in hearing God's voice, I took matters into my own hands, like Abraham. And the results were not very good. I'm not going to get into details but it did end up with broken hearts both ways, compromises, and a world of hurt and pain. But God still had so much grace on me. He kept promising of "the one" to come for me.
Now, the promise has been birthed. As you can see from my previous posts, God has given me "the one". God confirmed it many times and I'm so much at peace and in .... with HER. But I'm at the second testing, just like Abraham. Am I willing to offer up/give to God "this"? Am I going to see Him as good and knowing He will still give back what He promised to give me in the first place?
------------------------
To YOU:
I was just thinking about this topic earlier today, even before you blogged it. I was going to blog it tomorrow but since the topic was brought up, I decided to go at it.
YOU said in your blog "How close is my heart to the Lord, to say I am willing to give up EVERYTHING... i mean even "this" for my Lord?" Maybe you mean giving TO, not giving up. God has called us never to give up what He promised. He decreed it and we must not waver on what He declared and promised. But what we are called to do is give "this" TO Him. Everything. And we have to BELIEVE that when we give it TO Him, He will give "this" back to us. Pure. Refined. Full of <3. Pleasing to the Lord.
Your post kind of scared me at first because I thought YOU were going to do what I feared the most- giving up but not giving TO. But further reading YOUR post, I'm glad YOU clarified it.
I'm still struggling with assurance and conviction to be honest. My faith in God is really being tested everyday. As I type it's a struggle because I desperately want to take it into my own hands. I don't have it nailed down quite yet. I only blog this because in reality, I preach to myself first. But deep in my heart, I'm believe in "this" and for "this".
I'm not giving up but everyday will give TO God.
Taking it day by day and pacing myself...
Miss na miss kita.
SOON and very SOON, I'll see YOU.
<3
amazing. yes. YOU. are
Just for YOU this morning. I had a dream about YOU last night. I miss YOU <3
Oh HER eyes, HER eyes
make the stars look like they're not shining
HER hair, HER hair
falls perfectly without HER trying
SHE'S so beautiful
and i tell HER every day
yeah i know, i know
when i compliment HER
SHE wont believe me
and its so, its so
sad to think SHE don't see what i see
but every time SHE asks me do i look okay
i say:
when i see YOUR face
there's not a thing that i would change
cause YOU'RE amazing
just the way YOU are
and when YOU smile,
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cause girl YOU'RE amazing
just the way YOU are
HER nails, HER nails
i could kiss them all day if SHE'D let me
HER laugh, HER laugh
SHE hates but i think its so sexy
SHE'S so beautiful
and i tell HER every day
oh YOU know, YOU know, YOU know
id never ask YOU to change
if perfect is what YOU'RE searching for
then just stay the same
so don't even bother asking
if YOU look okay
YOU know i say
---------------
There's no better song right now to describe how I feel and think about YOU than this one. I'm just so speechless right now.
<3
Oh HER eyes, HER eyes
make the stars look like they're not shining
HER hair, HER hair
falls perfectly without HER trying
SHE'S so beautiful
and i tell HER every day
yeah i know, i know
when i compliment HER
SHE wont believe me
and its so, its so
sad to think SHE don't see what i see
but every time SHE asks me do i look okay
i say:
when i see YOUR face
there's not a thing that i would change
cause YOU'RE amazing
just the way YOU are
and when YOU smile,
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cause girl YOU'RE amazing
just the way YOU are
HER nails, HER nails
i could kiss them all day if SHE'D let me
HER laugh, HER laugh
SHE hates but i think its so sexy
SHE'S so beautiful
and i tell HER every day
oh YOU know, YOU know, YOU know
id never ask YOU to change
if perfect is what YOU'RE searching for
then just stay the same
so don't even bother asking
if YOU look okay
YOU know i say
---------------
There's no better song right now to describe how I feel and think about YOU than this one. I'm just so speechless right now.
<3
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
the little things.
It's the cute, little things SHE does that makes me keep falling for HER over and over again everyday. After working out, I received a nice Facebook notification of a picture SHE tagged me in. What a sweetheart!<3
Earlier at work today, my supervisor asked me again about HER and if it was official. I gave her a very condensed version of OUR testimony and what God is doing currently. My supervisor told me "If I was HER parents, I totally would let you go out with HER." What a nice thing to say! LOL=)
Also, as I was leaving work, my other co-worker asked me what cologne I was wearing because it smelled pretty good I guess. I told her what it was and she said "Are you trying to get a girl, huh?" I then told her with this really CHEESY smile, "I don't even need to try anymore. I already found HER" Everyone else heard it and now they're dying to know who it is. But I had to leave so I guess I'll tell them tomorrow! Hehe..
It seems like these past few days, a lot of people have been asking me about HER. Even the people that don't know about "this", somehow a conversation comes up out regarding this topic comes up and I end up telling people about HER. The more I talk about HER, the more I keep missing her.
I was at the gym earlier today and of course SHE was on my mind. There was this one girl who I guess kept checking me out. She kept walking to where I was at and kept looking at me. I moved to a different area and she came to where I was at again and looked straight at me. It was kind of awkward and I wasn't phazed at all. All I could do is think about whom my heart is truly for and it was HER (no, not the girl that kept looking at me).
I can actually say with all confidence that I'm done looking. After going through relationship after relationship, God has given HER- godly and gorgeous. You guys should check out HER stunning smile. It makes me melt. Ahhhhhhhhh... LOL.
I've also been on Facebook looking at wedding pictures of friends that recently got married. It's so awesome to see the love radiating from the pictures. So beautiful. One day, OUR time will come. Soon and very soon. Just keep holding on to what's been spoken and promised=D
Btw, if YOU'RE reading this, I got an initial confirmation on the date when I can finally see YOU again and also meet YOU'RE parents for the first time. And the day it falls on happens to be a PERFECT day to meet them. I'm still waiting on more confirmations to see if it's really from God. The day is coming SOONER than YOU think, Lord willing. So hang in there, k BABY LOVE?
Lagi kitang iniisip. Miss na miss kita. (If I could say it in Vietnamese I would. But heck I'm filipino so forgive me. hehe)
<3
Earlier at work today, my supervisor asked me again about HER and if it was official. I gave her a very condensed version of OUR testimony and what God is doing currently. My supervisor told me "If I was HER parents, I totally would let you go out with HER." What a nice thing to say! LOL=)
Also, as I was leaving work, my other co-worker asked me what cologne I was wearing because it smelled pretty good I guess. I told her what it was and she said "Are you trying to get a girl, huh?" I then told her with this really CHEESY smile, "I don't even need to try anymore. I already found HER" Everyone else heard it and now they're dying to know who it is. But I had to leave so I guess I'll tell them tomorrow! Hehe..
It seems like these past few days, a lot of people have been asking me about HER. Even the people that don't know about "this", somehow a conversation comes up out regarding this topic comes up and I end up telling people about HER. The more I talk about HER, the more I keep missing her.
I was at the gym earlier today and of course SHE was on my mind. There was this one girl who I guess kept checking me out. She kept walking to where I was at and kept looking at me. I moved to a different area and she came to where I was at again and looked straight at me. It was kind of awkward and I wasn't phazed at all. All I could do is think about whom my heart is truly for and it was HER (no, not the girl that kept looking at me).
I can actually say with all confidence that I'm done looking. After going through relationship after relationship, God has given HER- godly and gorgeous. You guys should check out HER stunning smile. It makes me melt. Ahhhhhhhhh... LOL.
I've also been on Facebook looking at wedding pictures of friends that recently got married. It's so awesome to see the love radiating from the pictures. So beautiful. One day, OUR time will come. Soon and very soon. Just keep holding on to what's been spoken and promised=D
Btw, if YOU'RE reading this, I got an initial confirmation on the date when I can finally see YOU again and also meet YOU'RE parents for the first time. And the day it falls on happens to be a PERFECT day to meet them. I'm still waiting on more confirmations to see if it's really from God. The day is coming SOONER than YOU think, Lord willing. So hang in there, k BABY LOVE?
Lagi kitang iniisip. Miss na miss kita. (If I could say it in Vietnamese I would. But heck I'm filipino so forgive me. hehe)
<3
Presence.
This is what I needed this morning. My heart and mind has been in so much unrest lately. I know in His presence I find my rest but it's so hard to actually "feel" it because of the war that attacks my mind and heart. And that's what has been leading to my "fears" as mentioned in my previous post. But God knows me and my heart. I turned to this morning's devotional and it hit the spot.
"Having the reality of God's presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence. The experience of the psalmist speaks of- "We will not fear, even though..." (Psalm 46:2)-will be ours once we are grounded on the truth of the reality of God's presence, not just a simple awareness of it, but an understanding of the reality of it." -Oswald Chambers
"Having the reality of God's presence is not dependent on our being in a particular circumstance or place, but is only dependent on our determination to keep the Lord before us continually. Our problems arise when we refuse to place our trust in the reality of His presence. The experience of the psalmist speaks of- "We will not fear, even though..." (Psalm 46:2)-will be ours once we are grounded on the truth of the reality of God's presence, not just a simple awareness of it, but an understanding of the reality of it." -Oswald Chambers
P.S.
i really like that artifact YOU were planning to buy=)
i thought it was cute and really thoughtful.
gahhh.. i miss YOU
i thought it was cute and really thoughtful.
gahhh.. i miss YOU
keepin it real.
my mind and heart is kind of like in a whirlwind right now. so im gonna blog just straight and raw. i dont care about punctuation, captilization, and grammar. i'll just pound away at the keyboard to release all these emotions i have inside right now. sorry if this stumbles some of you readers but it just goes to show that im someone that needs the grace of God everyday and that even though i may appear to have it "together", in reality His strength is made perfect when i confess i'm weak. and i feel really week right now because i can't see YOU or even talk to YOU.
yesterday (sunday) i went to my old church and many people said that i looked way different because of the amount of weight i lost. funny, people seemed to be extra friendly to me now. i find it interesting. but aside from that, many people were asking me about HER. and i was able to show her some pics that i stored on my phone and just talked about how awesome SHE was and how God was the one that brought us together. outside, i appeared joyful and happy. but deep inside, the more i talked about HER, the more my heart longed just to be with HER. the more i kept missing HER. all the while i was thinking today was the day i was supposed to see HER. but God had other plans that are perfect and makes my ideas pale in comparison. all my guy friends at my old church thought SHE was really cute and in my head i was like "yah, youre dang right SHES mine mine mine" haha.
later on that night, i went to loveHOP church and my friend called HER up that week and told me "katzy, SHE really l___s you. dont doubt that". those words gave me assurance but for some reason i wanted HER to do the reassuring....
and then earlier today at work (monday), the supervisor that asked me if i was in love, asked to see what SHE looks like too. i showed her pics and my supervisor was all like "awwww SHES really cute!" then she proceeded to do that little chant "katzy and _________ sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G". in my mind i thought "oh how i wish just to even be in sitting in a tree next to HER! LOL. my heart just kept melting and just even made me miss HER more. normally, i wouldve texted HER right away to tell HER but it's driving me crazy that i cant call, text, FB, email, or even comment HER blog at all. in my heart, i was wishing SHE was there to share those moments with me. i want HER to be there when i talk about how awesome SHE is.
i wish SHE was there tonight at the bible study i used to lead. God did amazing stuff. i prayed over this girl who i used to teach VBS too when she was little (she's 20 now). shes had shoulder pain for 5 years due to a dislocation and God miraculously healed her. i was able to prophesy over some stuff to her and i found out around 4-5 people want to get baptized from that group! amazing!!! wish YOU were here....
these next 2-3 months are gonna be tough. it's already been hard and it's only been 3 days since i last made any form of contact with HER. and before that it was a full week of nothing. and a week was already too long.
you know what scares me?
i always think that SHE might have a change of heart towards me and all "this". im actually afraid SHE might find someone else better. i mean the guys that people introduce HER to are probably better looking, and i know they are earning or will be earning six digit salaries. im afraid some guy will smooth talk her away from me. im afraid SHE'll get used to not talking to me and find affection in some other guy that SHE can actually talk to. i feel like i dont have anything to offer HER except myself and i always feel like it's not good enough. im afraid that SHE'LL give up on this because it's too hard. im afraid SHE'LL just give in to what HER parents want to hook her up with.
i know im not ever gonna abandon "this" because i know my heart is not gonna change toward HER. i wonder what SHE'S thinking and feeling right now towards me. im praying and hoping SHE doesn't waver or goes for some other guy. that will shatter me and that word is an understatement.
as im typing this, i realize im really insecure. it's a physical manifestation of what's going on spiritually. i really love God. He knows i do. but at times im not secure in knowing His love for me. it's like "God you really love me? really?? but i just did... and you still do? what??" and it manifests in the relationship between me and "her". how can she even want to be with me? there are better guys out there! i have baggage from past relationships. im probably not gonna earn a six digit salary. all i have to offer HER is myself. and i feel myself just doesnt cut it for HER. i mean... look at HER. SHE's amazing. SHE's beautiful. SHE loves God so much! SHE has a passion to tell people about God. how does a girl like that end up with someone like me???!!! it seems like its too good to be true...
but as im thinking right now i need to be secure first in His love. only then can i be secure in this relationship. God's love seems to good to be true on the surface. "but God demonstrated His love towards us, in that while we were STILL sinners, Christ DIED for us" (romans 5:8). imagine that!! God didnt wait for us to clean up our act. while we were still rebelling against Him, He still loved us and went all the way to the point of death on a cross to demonstrate it!! He had every reason to leave us and zap us into hell, but because of this crazy love He didnt!! Lord, may this be written in my heart and not just be stored in my head..!
and YOU, if YOU'RE reading this. i miss YOU terribly. one day i will get to see you again. and this time there will be no tension of "do i like you/do i not like you" but there will be assurance coming from me of how i really .... you. i hope, pray, and will believe that it's still the same back coming from you. im wondering how YOU'RE doing. i wonder what's in YOU'RE mind and how is YOU'RE heart right now. i wonder because i really .... you and care about you. so please update me somehow...
2-3 months will pass by quickly. and the timing will be perfect. im waiting on God. im holding on to ALL the confirmations, dreams, visions, and prophecies God gave us. i hope YOU do as well.
miss na miss kita.
<3
katzy
yesterday (sunday) i went to my old church and many people said that i looked way different because of the amount of weight i lost. funny, people seemed to be extra friendly to me now. i find it interesting. but aside from that, many people were asking me about HER. and i was able to show her some pics that i stored on my phone and just talked about how awesome SHE was and how God was the one that brought us together. outside, i appeared joyful and happy. but deep inside, the more i talked about HER, the more my heart longed just to be with HER. the more i kept missing HER. all the while i was thinking today was the day i was supposed to see HER. but God had other plans that are perfect and makes my ideas pale in comparison. all my guy friends at my old church thought SHE was really cute and in my head i was like "yah, youre dang right SHES mine mine mine" haha.
later on that night, i went to loveHOP church and my friend called HER up that week and told me "katzy, SHE really l___s you. dont doubt that". those words gave me assurance but for some reason i wanted HER to do the reassuring....
and then earlier today at work (monday), the supervisor that asked me if i was in love, asked to see what SHE looks like too. i showed her pics and my supervisor was all like "awwww SHES really cute!" then she proceeded to do that little chant "katzy and _________ sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G". in my mind i thought "oh how i wish just to even be in sitting in a tree next to HER! LOL. my heart just kept melting and just even made me miss HER more. normally, i wouldve texted HER right away to tell HER but it's driving me crazy that i cant call, text, FB, email, or even comment HER blog at all. in my heart, i was wishing SHE was there to share those moments with me. i want HER to be there when i talk about how awesome SHE is.
i wish SHE was there tonight at the bible study i used to lead. God did amazing stuff. i prayed over this girl who i used to teach VBS too when she was little (she's 20 now). shes had shoulder pain for 5 years due to a dislocation and God miraculously healed her. i was able to prophesy over some stuff to her and i found out around 4-5 people want to get baptized from that group! amazing!!! wish YOU were here....
these next 2-3 months are gonna be tough. it's already been hard and it's only been 3 days since i last made any form of contact with HER. and before that it was a full week of nothing. and a week was already too long.
you know what scares me?
i always think that SHE might have a change of heart towards me and all "this". im actually afraid SHE might find someone else better. i mean the guys that people introduce HER to are probably better looking, and i know they are earning or will be earning six digit salaries. im afraid some guy will smooth talk her away from me. im afraid SHE'll get used to not talking to me and find affection in some other guy that SHE can actually talk to. i feel like i dont have anything to offer HER except myself and i always feel like it's not good enough. im afraid that SHE'LL give up on this because it's too hard. im afraid SHE'LL just give in to what HER parents want to hook her up with.
i know im not ever gonna abandon "this" because i know my heart is not gonna change toward HER. i wonder what SHE'S thinking and feeling right now towards me. im praying and hoping SHE doesn't waver or goes for some other guy. that will shatter me and that word is an understatement.
as im typing this, i realize im really insecure. it's a physical manifestation of what's going on spiritually. i really love God. He knows i do. but at times im not secure in knowing His love for me. it's like "God you really love me? really?? but i just did... and you still do? what??" and it manifests in the relationship between me and "her". how can she even want to be with me? there are better guys out there! i have baggage from past relationships. im probably not gonna earn a six digit salary. all i have to offer HER is myself. and i feel myself just doesnt cut it for HER. i mean... look at HER. SHE's amazing. SHE's beautiful. SHE loves God so much! SHE has a passion to tell people about God. how does a girl like that end up with someone like me???!!! it seems like its too good to be true...
but as im thinking right now i need to be secure first in His love. only then can i be secure in this relationship. God's love seems to good to be true on the surface. "but God demonstrated His love towards us, in that while we were STILL sinners, Christ DIED for us" (romans 5:8). imagine that!! God didnt wait for us to clean up our act. while we were still rebelling against Him, He still loved us and went all the way to the point of death on a cross to demonstrate it!! He had every reason to leave us and zap us into hell, but because of this crazy love He didnt!! Lord, may this be written in my heart and not just be stored in my head..!
and YOU, if YOU'RE reading this. i miss YOU terribly. one day i will get to see you again. and this time there will be no tension of "do i like you/do i not like you" but there will be assurance coming from me of how i really .... you. i hope, pray, and will believe that it's still the same back coming from you. im wondering how YOU'RE doing. i wonder what's in YOU'RE mind and how is YOU'RE heart right now. i wonder because i really .... you and care about you. so please update me somehow...
2-3 months will pass by quickly. and the timing will be perfect. im waiting on God. im holding on to ALL the confirmations, dreams, visions, and prophecies God gave us. i hope YOU do as well.
miss na miss kita.
<3
katzy
Sunday, July 18, 2010
going to be right here... ALWAYS.
This blog is only meant for one person in the world. You know who you are. I miss you already...
Last night we mutually agreed to do the right thing before God and before man to not contact each other in any kind of way whether it be through seeing each other, talking on the phone, chatting on AIM, FB wall posts, etc. for 2-3 months. I want to honor your parents and do the right thing if they do not want you to associate with me in any way. I trust and know that God will start changing their hearts. Always remember the promises, confirmations, dreams and visions He gave both of us concerning you and I. However, knowing all this, it was still such a hard decision.
I woke up this morning with my heart still heavy. I cried so much chatting with you last night on webcam. Seeing you cry too broke my heart. I cried after we signed off knowing that it would be our last conversation in any form for a SHORT while (long, later, bye, etc. is NOT in our vocabulary). I'm already tearing up typing this. *For those of you reading this, I'm usually not emotionally up and down but when you're in my position, you would understand*
Today was the day I was supposed to finally see you after a month and a half and for the first time since I told you that I was falling for you...
Today I was supposed to meet your church family. I was looking forward to building relationships with them. I was looking forward to shaking hands with your pastors. I was excited to have your friends be my friends too...
Today I was supposed to meet your parents for the first time. I still don't understand why they hate me even though they have never met me. But it's OK. I don't hate them at all and neither do I want you to. Love them for the sake of leading them back to Jesus.
But all that won't be for another few months. I thought I could still at least chat with you but now I can't talk to you at all. But I know this is the right thing. It'll draw us both closer to God and to each other. My affections will NOT weaken for you during this time- only grow stronger.
God does funny things to us sometimes. But He's setting up the perfect day for you and I. And that will I promise- it's going to be PERFECT. Please stay strong and do not waver. Continue to give all your burdens, hurts, doubts, etc. to God. He wants to be the carrier of your load. When you feel down worship Him for He is worthy. Love Him because He loves us!
I woke up this morning with a song I want you to listen to. I'm sure you know this song already but please listen to it with new ears.
Missing you so much... (and that's an understatement)
Right Here Waiting
Oceans apart day after day
and I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never,
then how can we say forever?
*-Chorus-*
Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
I'll be right here waiting for you,
Whatever it takes,
or how my heart breaks,
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted all the times
That I thought would last some how
I hear the laughter and I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can you see it baby
You've got me goin crazy
*-Chorus-*
I wonder how,
How we can survive this romance
But in the end WHEN (I changed it from the "if") I'm with you
I'll take the chance
*-Chorus-*
Oh I love you,
Oh whatever it takes,
Whatever you do,
Wherever you go I'm never leavin you
I'll be right here waiting for you
Last night we mutually agreed to do the right thing before God and before man to not contact each other in any kind of way whether it be through seeing each other, talking on the phone, chatting on AIM, FB wall posts, etc. for 2-3 months. I want to honor your parents and do the right thing if they do not want you to associate with me in any way. I trust and know that God will start changing their hearts. Always remember the promises, confirmations, dreams and visions He gave both of us concerning you and I. However, knowing all this, it was still such a hard decision.
I woke up this morning with my heart still heavy. I cried so much chatting with you last night on webcam. Seeing you cry too broke my heart. I cried after we signed off knowing that it would be our last conversation in any form for a SHORT while (long, later, bye, etc. is NOT in our vocabulary). I'm already tearing up typing this. *For those of you reading this, I'm usually not emotionally up and down but when you're in my position, you would understand*
Today was the day I was supposed to finally see you after a month and a half and for the first time since I told you that I was falling for you...
Today I was supposed to meet your church family. I was looking forward to building relationships with them. I was looking forward to shaking hands with your pastors. I was excited to have your friends be my friends too...
Today I was supposed to meet your parents for the first time. I still don't understand why they hate me even though they have never met me. But it's OK. I don't hate them at all and neither do I want you to. Love them for the sake of leading them back to Jesus.
But all that won't be for another few months. I thought I could still at least chat with you but now I can't talk to you at all. But I know this is the right thing. It'll draw us both closer to God and to each other. My affections will NOT weaken for you during this time- only grow stronger.
God does funny things to us sometimes. But He's setting up the perfect day for you and I. And that will I promise- it's going to be PERFECT. Please stay strong and do not waver. Continue to give all your burdens, hurts, doubts, etc. to God. He wants to be the carrier of your load. When you feel down worship Him for He is worthy. Love Him because He loves us!
I woke up this morning with a song I want you to listen to. I'm sure you know this song already but please listen to it with new ears.
Missing you so much... (and that's an understatement)
Right Here Waiting
Oceans apart day after day
and I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never,
then how can we say forever?
*-Chorus-*
Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
I'll be right here waiting for you,
Whatever it takes,
or how my heart breaks,
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted all the times
That I thought would last some how
I hear the laughter and I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can you see it baby
You've got me goin crazy
*-Chorus-*
I wonder how,
How we can survive this romance
But in the end WHEN (I changed it from the "if") I'm with you
I'll take the chance
*-Chorus-*
Oh I love you,
Oh whatever it takes,
Whatever you do,
Wherever you go I'm never leavin you
I'll be right here waiting for you
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Weapon.
This might be long but I feel it's worth taking a look at. Hopefully it encourages you...
There's been such a spiritual battle lately in my life pertaining to what God has promised me a while ago. There have been many times I fought and continue to still fight times of doubt, discouragement, insecurities, and uncertainties. As I was in prayer during a time of unrest in my heart I felt God speak to my heart, "Gaze upon me, gaze upon me, gaze upon me. I will show you my goodness. The battle is Mine." In my heart, I responded back, "Why gaze upon you? There's a battle that needs to be fought and how can you fight for me? Show me how!" Then God responded back by reminding me of a story about a king who let God do the fighting.
In this story, King Jehoshaphat was coming under attack from his enemies. "Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, "A great multitude is coming against you from Edom, from beyond the sea; and, behold, they are in Hazazon-tamar" (that is, Engedi). Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the LORD, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah" (2 Chronicles 20:2-3).
So imagine possibly thousands upon thousands of your own worst enemies coming in from every side and from everywhere. Jehoshaphat was pretty freaked out. But what did he do? Did he run? Did he complain? No... he purposely "set his face to seek the LORD". While we may not experience this type of warfare in our lives, we daily fight a spirutual one. The Bible says, "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). We daily struggle against sin, our flesh, strongholds of the mind, lies spoken to us by the enemy, etc. We need to constantly set our hearts in worshipping God, being intimate with Him, and trusting that He will carry out the victory and promises He has given.
So Jehoshaphat called a national fast and during the fast a prophet named Jahaziel proclaimed this: "You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you" (2 Chronicles 20:17).
What I find interesting was that up until this point, God has been telling Israel to fight. But now we have a reversal. God told them that they don't need to fight but to not move but just "watch" God do His thing. This is something different... way different from what they were used to! God was giving reminding them that their previous wars were not fought by their own great strength but it was really God that fought for them. And now we see it being made manifest.
In my own life, I find that I need to let His will be done through me, not imposing my own will using Jesus Name. The night before His crucifxion, Jesus Christ also faced great warfare when He was in prayer before His Father. He agonized all night as a man (He was and is also God) asking His Father that if it's possible to let the cup of suffering pass. But He knew what His Father sent for Him to do- to attone for the sins of the world. And Jesus simply surrendered and said "Not My will but Your will be done." When God speaks a promise to you, He is faithful to accomplish it no matter how great the opposition is!
Back to the story...
Jeshaphat was then instructed to basically send out the priests and worship the Lord. "And when he had taken counsel with the people, he appointed those who were to sing to the LORD and praise him in holy attire, as they went before the army, and say,'Give thanks to the LORD, for his steadfast love endures forever'" (2 Chronicles 20:21). Normally, it would be logical to send out your army but God said "Nope! Bring out the worshippers to give thanks to My Name and declare that My Love never fails!"
And here's the weapon in warfare: WORSHIP
When we encounter God in worship, we receive a revelation of who He truly is. I am reminded of when Moses encountered who God is and here's the revelation: "The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6).
Why does God show Himself like that? It's because a revelation of His goodness and love toward us will keep us believing and standing firm in the promises He made to us. As we worship, the attacks and lies from the enemy won't be able to affect us because we know that God is faithful and that His promises are Yes and Amen. As we worship, God shows up, our faith will grow stronger, and we realize the victory already is ours because He promised so. God is not a liar and He keeps His promises!
"No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised" (Romans 4:20-21)
And that's what I exactly need to do heading into this time of warfare in my life. Give glory to my God. Fix my eyes on Jesus and allow Him to love on me and allow myself to fall in love with Him. And as I do I will grow stronger in my faith and assurance will reign in my heart. And that only comes through daily worshipping Him. Worship is my greatest weapon in the midst of warfare. His love is what keeps me believing. His mercy makes me triumph over my enemies.
"When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.
One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple." (Psalm 27:2-4)
There's been such a spiritual battle lately in my life pertaining to what God has promised me a while ago. There have been many times I fought and continue to still fight times of doubt, discouragement, insecurities, and uncertainties. As I was in prayer during a time of unrest in my heart I felt God speak to my heart, "Gaze upon me, gaze upon me, gaze upon me. I will show you my goodness. The battle is Mine." In my heart, I responded back, "Why gaze upon you? There's a battle that needs to be fought and how can you fight for me? Show me how!" Then God responded back by reminding me of a story about a king who let God do the fighting.
In this story, King Jehoshaphat was coming under attack from his enemies. "Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, "A great multitude is coming against you from Edom, from beyond the sea; and, behold, they are in Hazazon-tamar" (that is, Engedi). Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the LORD, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah" (2 Chronicles 20:2-3).
So imagine possibly thousands upon thousands of your own worst enemies coming in from every side and from everywhere. Jehoshaphat was pretty freaked out. But what did he do? Did he run? Did he complain? No... he purposely "set his face to seek the LORD". While we may not experience this type of warfare in our lives, we daily fight a spirutual one. The Bible says, "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). We daily struggle against sin, our flesh, strongholds of the mind, lies spoken to us by the enemy, etc. We need to constantly set our hearts in worshipping God, being intimate with Him, and trusting that He will carry out the victory and promises He has given.
So Jehoshaphat called a national fast and during the fast a prophet named Jahaziel proclaimed this: "You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you" (2 Chronicles 20:17).
What I find interesting was that up until this point, God has been telling Israel to fight. But now we have a reversal. God told them that they don't need to fight but to not move but just "watch" God do His thing. This is something different... way different from what they were used to! God was giving reminding them that their previous wars were not fought by their own great strength but it was really God that fought for them. And now we see it being made manifest.
In my own life, I find that I need to let His will be done through me, not imposing my own will using Jesus Name. The night before His crucifxion, Jesus Christ also faced great warfare when He was in prayer before His Father. He agonized all night as a man (He was and is also God) asking His Father that if it's possible to let the cup of suffering pass. But He knew what His Father sent for Him to do- to attone for the sins of the world. And Jesus simply surrendered and said "Not My will but Your will be done." When God speaks a promise to you, He is faithful to accomplish it no matter how great the opposition is!
Back to the story...
Jeshaphat was then instructed to basically send out the priests and worship the Lord. "And when he had taken counsel with the people, he appointed those who were to sing to the LORD and praise him in holy attire, as they went before the army, and say,'Give thanks to the LORD, for his steadfast love endures forever'" (2 Chronicles 20:21). Normally, it would be logical to send out your army but God said "Nope! Bring out the worshippers to give thanks to My Name and declare that My Love never fails!"
And here's the weapon in warfare: WORSHIP
When we encounter God in worship, we receive a revelation of who He truly is. I am reminded of when Moses encountered who God is and here's the revelation: "The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6).
Why does God show Himself like that? It's because a revelation of His goodness and love toward us will keep us believing and standing firm in the promises He made to us. As we worship, the attacks and lies from the enemy won't be able to affect us because we know that God is faithful and that His promises are Yes and Amen. As we worship, God shows up, our faith will grow stronger, and we realize the victory already is ours because He promised so. God is not a liar and He keeps His promises!
"No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised" (Romans 4:20-21)
And that's what I exactly need to do heading into this time of warfare in my life. Give glory to my God. Fix my eyes on Jesus and allow Him to love on me and allow myself to fall in love with Him. And as I do I will grow stronger in my faith and assurance will reign in my heart. And that only comes through daily worshipping Him. Worship is my greatest weapon in the midst of warfare. His love is what keeps me believing. His mercy makes me triumph over my enemies.
"When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.
One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple." (Psalm 27:2-4)
Friday, July 16, 2010
Submission.
“I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess." -Martin Luther
something that made me smile in spite of a rough start=)
Random conversation at work:
SUPERVISOR: "Katzy, are you in love?"
ME: (stuttering) "Uhhhh... no... yes.. sort of? uhhh.. why do you ask?"
SUPERVISOR: "You've been forgetful lately. So is there someone?"
ME: (turning red) "Uhhhh... yes there is someone" (smiles)
SUPERVISOR: "Katzy, are you in love?"
ME: (stuttering) "Uhhhh... no... yes.. sort of? uhhh.. why do you ask?"
SUPERVISOR: "You've been forgetful lately. So is there someone?"
ME: (turning red) "Uhhhh... yes there is someone" (smiles)
Just what I needed this morning.
"Jesus said there are times when God cannot lift the darkness from you, but you should trust Him. At times God will appear like an unkind friend, but He is not; He will appear like an unnatural father, but He is not; He will appear like an unjust judge, but He is not. Keep the thought that the mind of God is behind all things strong and growing. Not even the smallest detail of life happens unless God's will is behind it. Therefore, you can rest in perfect confidence in Him. Prayer is not only asking, but is an attitude of the mind which produces the atmosphere in which asking is perfectly natural. 'Ask, and it will be given to you...' (Matthew 7:7)." -Oswald Chambers from today's devotional taken from "My Utmost for His Highest"
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Fire
Hello Blogspot world! I feel like I’ll be heading into a very new season in my personal life so that means a new blog. Hopefully I’ll be more motivated to write.
I’ll be deleting my Xanga and my other Blogspot so if you have been following me on those blogs, please add this one and delete the others.
This blog will contain thoughts, quotes, articles, and updates on what God has been doing in my life. I ultimately want this blog to be a testimony of an imperfect man who has been called perfect and at the same time being made perfect into the image of Jesus Christ.
Hope you guys will enjoy reading!
<><
Katzy
I’ll be deleting my Xanga and my other Blogspot so if you have been following me on those blogs, please add this one and delete the others.
This blog will contain thoughts, quotes, articles, and updates on what God has been doing in my life. I ultimately want this blog to be a testimony of an imperfect man who has been called perfect and at the same time being made perfect into the image of Jesus Christ.
Hope you guys will enjoy reading!
<><
Katzy
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