going to be right here... ALWAYS.

This blog is only meant for one person in the world. You know who you are. I miss you already...

Last night we mutually agreed to do the right thing before God and before man to not contact each other in any kind of way whether it be through seeing each other, talking on the phone, chatting on AIM, FB wall posts, etc. for 2-3 months. I want to honor your parents and do the right thing if they do not want you to associate with me in any way. I trust and know that God will start changing their hearts. Always remember the promises, confirmations, dreams and visions He gave both of us concerning you and I. However, knowing all this, it was still such a hard decision.

I woke up this morning with my heart still heavy. I cried so much chatting with you last night on webcam. Seeing you cry too broke my heart. I cried after we signed off knowing that it would be our last conversation in any form for a SHORT while (long, later, bye, etc. is NOT in our vocabulary). I'm already tearing up typing this. *For those of you reading this, I'm usually not emotionally up and down but when you're in my position, you would understand*

Today was the day I was supposed to finally see you after a month and a half and for the first time since I told you that I was falling for you...

Today I was supposed to meet your church family. I was looking forward to building relationships with them. I was looking forward to shaking hands with your pastors. I was excited to have your friends be my friends too...

Today I was supposed to meet your parents for the first time. I still don't understand why they hate me even though they have never met me. But it's OK. I don't hate them at all and neither do I want you to. Love them for the sake of leading them back to Jesus.

But all that won't be for another few months. I thought I could still at least chat with you but now I can't talk to you at all. But I know this is the right thing. It'll draw us both closer to God and to each other. My affections will NOT weaken for you during this time- only grow stronger.

God does funny things to us sometimes. But He's setting up the perfect day for you and I. And that will I promise- it's going to be PERFECT. Please stay strong and do not waver. Continue to give all your burdens, hurts, doubts, etc. to God. He wants to be the carrier of your load. When you feel down worship Him for He is worthy. Love Him because He loves us!

I woke up this morning with a song I want you to listen to. I'm sure you know this song already but please listen to it with new ears.

Missing you so much... (and that's an understatement)



Right Here Waiting

Oceans apart day after day
and I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never,
then how can we say forever?

*-Chorus-*
Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
I'll be right here waiting for you,
Whatever it takes,
or how my heart breaks,
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted all the times
That I thought would last some how
I hear the laughter and I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can you see it baby
You've got me goin crazy

*-Chorus-*

I wonder how,
How we can survive this romance
But in the end WHEN (I changed it from the "if") I'm with you
I'll take the chance

*-Chorus-*

Oh I love you,
Oh whatever it takes,
Whatever you do,
Wherever you go I'm never leavin you

I'll be right here waiting for you